Bioflex

Bioflex is a scientific research company. (Well, not really, but it explains why Zombie LARP players are repeatedly trapped in zombie infestations: the Bioflex company did it.) If there’s a major paranormal crisis afoot, you can be sure that Bioflex caused it or are making it worse, either on purpose or by mistake.

Role in Zombie LARP events

Bioflex is one of three made-up factions whose presence can usually be felt at our events. (The other two are the Occult Task Force and P*A*W*N). The Bioflex company is a multiferous corporate horror with its webbed fingers in some of the world’s most sinister pies.

Player name badges at Zombie LARP events are often Bioflex-branded. We do this because it amuses us. It doesn’t mean you’re obliged to pretend to be a Bioflex worker drone or play the game a certain way. Bioflex staff are usually kept in the dark about the purpose of the work and deliberately misinformed about the locations of fire exits – so they’re victims of the zombie outbreak too, and face the same struggle to survive that everyone else does. The ‘Bioflex employee’ is just meant to be an all-purpose low-impact character idea that you can use if you like.

But whether you embrace the Bioflex lifestyle or not, you might find it helpful to burn the company name and symbol into your brain as omens of doom. Bioflex technology and equipment is common at Zombie LARP events, and often malfunctions lethally – or works perfectly, but in a very unhelpful way. Bioflex scientists are vaguely aware of the word “ethics”, but are not so familiar with it that they could spell it; and corpses with Bioflex toe-tags or branded burial-shrouds are unlikely to stay dead for long.

The Bioflex employee philosophy is more-or-less the Zombie LARP philosophy: that you should remain optimistic even while the screams of your best friends being devoured alive are echoing out of the inky nightmare darkness.

Company history

The company was supposedly founded in the late 20th century, but it may have existed before that. That’s about all we know. Since Bioflex is a defence contractor – conducting exotic weaponeering and supplying REDACTED to the Ministry of Defence – most public records of its history have been obliterated. Carbon copies are known to be stored in a safe inside the reactor room of HMS Ark Royal, currently on manouevres just south of the Marianas Islands. Freedom of Information requests by members of P*A*W*N were denied on the grounds that answering those requests would give away the ship’s position – but as a favour to the Admiralty, Bioflex itself has agreed to release a few select documents in order to allay public fears and suspicions of REDACTED. Such suspicions often originate with the rumour that Bioflex premises are plagued by so-called “zombie outbreaks” – but when the dust settles, these rumours are usually found to be exaggerated accounts of food poisoning, noise pollution, or wild dog attacks.

As of 2011, Bioflex is a market-leader in the alchemical industry and the one of the world’s biggest employers in the occult sciences. Sixty percent of all Vril particles fulminated in the inner solar system are fulminated in Bioflex bright water reactors. Bioflex is also proud to be one of the only commercial enterprises in the world which is actually increasing the planet’s biodiversity by inventing new animals and releasing them into the countryside.

Bioflex products

The public may be familiar with the following Bioflex products, some of which are available on the high street:

  • Mactabilis serum, a delivery mechanism for a synthetic virus which induces a low-metabolism state in order to prevent critically-injured patients from dying before they can receive medical treatment. This product has often been promised but is not believed to be working properly yet.
  • Fire axes, heavy chopping instruments edged with a highly-resilient silicate which was harvested from the rings of Saturn at Bioflex’s request and fired back at Earth by the Cassini-Huygens spacecraft.
  • Halperin, a herbal wellness supplement which has been proven to alleviate the symptoms of pneumonia, whooping cough, and necrotizing fasciitis.
  • “Survivor Stations” – civil defence shelters which were begun in the 1970s and are finally nearing completion. Bioflex has been given a great deal of public money to build invulnerable continuity-of-government sites to alleviate the symptoms of widespread societal collapse.
  • WhiteKnight-23 sports energy drink, a fizzy beverage that span off from the supersoldier project.
  • Vril Batteries, household-grade energy cells. Each battery is composed of a sticky muon vessel, a weak vril modulator, a sliver of amethyst,  and a fuse. Vril Batteries are recharged by geomantic energy which travels along invisible ley-lines that exist in many parts of the UK. Selling particularly well in Wiltshire due to the telluric junction at Stonehenge.
  • GloCats, transgenic pets with white fur and black facial mottling resembling a Bioflex symbol. GloCats were created by viral implanting of cat ova with brain cell nucleii stolen from an iguana. GloCats’ skin glows red when exposed to ultraviolent light or when the animal is angry.
  • Umbrellas. Bioflex makes very good umbrellas, although some batches are rumoured to be “contaminated”.

More information about Bioflex products will become available as and when the marketing department allows it.

Divisions

Bioflex has a lot of different sections and departments, and the organizational structure changes all the time. Here are a few divisions the existence of which has been proven.

  • Cosmetics. Makes use of a large number of sand crabs, for reasons unknown.
  • Marketing. Composed (supposedly) of only six individuals, all of whom live in seclusion and have the same birthday. Edicts from the Marketing Department seem to carry more authority than almost any other form of Bioflex internal document.
  • Human Resources. Supplying preserved cadavers to the various MediCrucibles around the UK.
  • Practical Alchemy. Was based on an oil platform in the Irish Sea, but was washed away by a freak wave.
  • Accounting. Defunct. The 200+ staff in the UK accounts department vanished a few years ago, with no trace left behind except for some unidentified smearing. Presumably someone at Bioflex must be making the numbers add up, so the accounts department may have been re-formed underground, or replaced by a superintelligent computer.
  • Occluded Sciences. Responsible for all the company’s dabbling and most of its meddling; in both cases usually with powers beyond human understanding. (A small amount of Bioflex’s meddling is outsourced to EnyoGeni or even OrganiFlex.)
  • Geomantic Renewables. Generating energy from telluric currents, Vril particles, and the luminiferous and Plutonic aethers.
  • Exotic Weaponeering. Bioflex makes weapons of some sort and supplies them to someone. Details are top secret.
  • Maintainence. Consisting of hundreds of plumbers and electricians, and a few dozen epistomological philosophers responsible for plugging significant leaks in symbolic logic.
  • Neoviral Organistics. One of many now-defunct fronts for the White Knight project.
  • Arctic Exploration. Drilling into Lake Vostok to look for “new organism ideas”.

Notable staff

Quite a few Bioflex employees have appeared as characters at Zombie LARP, and many veteran players may experience twinges of dread on hearing the following infamous names.

  • Dr Lars Emmerson, Head of Research; the genius who invented WK-23 and started the whole mess
  • Felicity Rowan, high priestess of a strange cult at, um, Cult 
  • Duncan Kramer, mad CEO, who obliterated himself and Emmerson in an occult ritual at the end of Chaos
  • Devlin Garnet, Kramer’s successor, who bought the company just before Better The Devil and was assassinated twice by a team of players at Payday
  • Dr Lucy Fairchild, Emmerson’s successor, who was finvented the WK-23 energy drink
  • Dr Harvey Smith, an arrogant scientist who vanished just before the Red Leech turned up
  • Dr Baxter, whose escape plan was basically nicked by the players at White Noise

Company motto

Bioflex has had a lot of different slogans over the years. A couple of notable examples:

  • ‘Emmerson and Kramer are Good Men’ – a mantra which employees used to have to say three times at the start of every day, and whenever looking in a mirror.
  • ‘IMPERAMUS VOSTER POSTERI’, a bad Latin translation which might mean  ‘Controlling Your Future’.
  • ‘COGITAMUS EXIIT ARCA’. Opinions vary on what is meant by this.

However, in spite of the immense efforts of the Heraldry Division, no slogan has ever quite captured the company’s can-do spirit as the unofficial slogan ‘Nothing Can Go Wrong This Time’.

It has been suggested that the word ‘Corporation’ in ‘Bioflex Corporation’ refers not to the incorporation of the company, but to the process of giving corporeal bodies to things that wouldn’t otherwise have them; so the word may in fact be a description of what the company does rather than what it is.

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